Art of Speaking Business

You’ll notice the format of this post is a little different. I decided to participate in a blog carnival. My fellow public speaking professional colleague Angela DeFinis,  is hosting the carnival on her site.  The theme of the carnival is “Public Speaking and The Holidays” – check out Angela’s post about the carnival.  I decided to contribute my top ten tips for holiday party schmoozing and mingling.  Hope you enjoy it!

by Lisa B. Marshall
[Host and creator of The Public Speaker, an iTunes Top 25 Business podcast.  Author of The Public Speaker’s Guide To Ace Your Interview, Communication Expert and Keynote Speaker]

With the holiday season around the corner it’s time for a refresher on the how to properly schmooze. Today, I’ll cover my top ten tips to help you mingle like a pro at your upcoming office holiday party.

For me it helps to think of mingling as a warm-up exercise. Like any warm-up, it helps your exercise, which in this case is a real conversation, not feel strained or uncomfortable. Mingling is about establishing rapport.

Make no mistake; mingling is a learned skill.  Mastering the art of mingling is a critically important skill for professional networking, for interviewing, and for parties. So today, I’ll share with you my top ten tips for holiday party schmoozing.

Tip #1: Go!

Don’t blow off the party.  Some people who would rather have a root canal than have to make small talk with a stranger. In fact, it makes most people uncomfortable (at least to some extent). However missing your work holiday party is like missing an important meeting and the chance to talk with people you normally don’t interact with. It’s a great opportunity to practice and master your mingling skills. So go!

Tip #2: Pay Attention

Before you go to the party, prepare by looking at the headlines. Look at local stuff and global stuff. You don’t have to be an expert, just be aware. At the event, pay attention to stuff around you–the traffic, the parking, the venue, the artwork, the theme, the food…everything.

Tip #3: Prepare

During the party you’ll likely want to introduce yourself. Read or listen to my “How to Introduce Yourself” episode to help you create your “social” version of your self-introduction. Keep it very brief and practice it before you go.

You might also want to check your handshake with a trusted colleague.  You’d be surprised how many people don’t get this right.  And it’s amazing how important this is.  To learn how to do it right, read or listen to my episode on handshaking.

Tip #4: Ask Questions

You don’t need to know the people you will meet.  Just ask about shared experiences, “Did you find parking nearby?” or “This place is really, nice. I’ve never been here before; have you?” “Even though I’m not much of a gambler, I’m really having fun with this casino theme. Did you try any games?”  (This is why you needed to pay attention!)

Of course, at holiday parties, you always have the holiday as a conversation starter.  “Do you have any special holiday plans?” “Are you all ready for your holidays?” or “What’s your favorite part of the holidays?”

Tip # 5: Mingle

During the event, look around the room. The easiest thing to do is just talk to the same people you always talks with. But instead, challenge yourself to join the noisiest group–that one with people who appear to be enjoying themselves the most. Or, look for someone who is standing alone and who returns your eye contact with a smile.

And don’t stick like glue to the first person you meet.  If you are talking to someone and another person is waiting, try to also include them in the conversation.  Or excuse yourself and move on.  Finally, consider setting and reaching a goal of meeting at least five new people.

Tip #6: Take the lead

Most people want to have a pleasant conversation and consider that a difficult task. So get into the holiday spirit by taking the lead. Make a comment, ask a question, or give a sincere compliment.

I emphasize sincere. If you don’t really mean it, don’t bother. It bothers me that I even need to say this, but avoid compliments about attire or appearance. Unfortunately, this is still a WORK event (and usually there is alcohol involved) so a compliment could be easily misconstrued. Speaking of alcohol-one or two drinks is fine—this is not the time to get drunk.

Tip #7: Let if flow.  Let it flow. Let it flow.

Once you start a conversation, don’t worry about what you are going to say next. Mingling is about starting with small, shared stuff and letting the conversation naturally grow. Just listen. Let your natural curiosity and genuine interest guide your conversations.

However there are a few subjects you’ll want to avoid.  Most importantly, don’t talk about work. This is not the time to try to get on that special project or push for a raise. And you’ll also want to also stay clear of potentially uncomfortable subjects such as: romance (particularly office romances), religion, politics, appearance, health, race, and personal finance. Your sole focus should be on rapport building.

Tip #8: Share

Remember, it’s important that you not solely ask questions–that will just feel like an interrogation not a conversation. The goal is to find common ground by sharing a few of your own stories too.

Tip #9: Appreciate

Make sure to thank the appropriate people at the party. Of course, you should make it a point to thank the party planners for their hard work. However, also be sure to thank senior management for the party.

Many companies have cancelled this year’s holiday party. Be sure they know that you appreciate that they went ahead with the party and that you don’t take events like these for granted. Express your heartfelt appreciation. Tell them what a great time you had or comment on something you liked.

Tip #10: It’s Work

Perhaps the biggest overall advice that I can offer regarding work holiday parties is to keep in your mind at all times that it is an OFFICE party, not an office PARTY.

Your goal for this year’s office holiday party should be to master your schmoozing skills.  Go, pay attention, prepare, ask questions, mingle, take the lead, let it flow, share and appreciate.  Most importantly, have fun! Yes, it is a social celebration but I’d suggest wearing your thinking cap and not your party hat.

This is Lisa B. Marshall.  Passionate about communication (and the holidays), your success is my business.

Connecting

For discounts, insider tips, and freebies, I invite you to join my newsletter or the Facebook Fan Page. I’d also like to invite you to join my networks on (LinkedIn and Twitter).  For information about keynote speeches or workshops, visit lisabmarshall.com.

Resources

The Public Speaker’s Guide To Ace Your Interview: 6 Steps To Get The Job You Want

The Fine Art of Small Talk: How to Start a Conversation

Small Talk: The Art of Socializing

Copyright 2009 Lisa B. Marshall

Last year Chris Brogan talked about the elements of a good LinkedIn recommendation.  Of course, I have my own thoughts on this.  So, this week on The Public Speaker I talk about how to write better LinkedIn recommendations.  Here are the highlights but if you’d like to listen to the full details go here :

• Don’t write generic recommendations that have no content or meat to them.
• Write genuine and sincere recommendations for the work of professionals that you have experienced.
• For business owners, focus on what they do and what makes them different or the best.
• For colleagues, focus on transferable skills
• If you feel strongly about the person include a call to action.
• Use details and examples that allow readers to experience the person’s personal brand
• Follow the rules of threes
• Keep the recommendation 60-100 words
• Choose descriptive adjectives that are somewhat unusual

Finally, I think the best way to learn how to write good recommendations is to read a bunch of good examples.  The easiest way to do that is to read several of the many recommendations that Chris Brogan has written.

Want to know how Guy Kawasaki Tweets?  http://bit.ly/MKxyB  As usual he has a unique point of view.  I definately agree with his repeat tweet strategy. I also use applications, but not the one he uses.  I use Ping.fm and TweetLater.com to help automate the process.  I am going to have our intern, Molly, check out the tools he mentions and see how they work.

I also agree with using “ghost” to tweet.  Molly, Marc, and I tweet messages for our accounts, but like, Guy, Marc and I personally reply to questions addressed to us. I just wish I could pay folks to

Do you agree with Guy?  How do you Tweet?  What tools do you use?  Do you think using ghosts is OK?  Why, or Why not?

I will be interviewed as part of a free teleseminar series this week.You can catch a new expert every day this week (Monday through Friday), at 1 PM EST.

The week long series is called, “Build a Money Making Brand on a Budget”.

Join us for free this week and discover:

· 30 things you can do NOW that will pump up your brand and won’t break the bank.

· Learn to use Twitter (plus other free tools) to attract warm, qualified leads from your target audience.

· Learn most effective and least expensive way to build brand and attract customers.

· Explore how to use online video to build your brand and expand your presence.

· The #1 reason producers, reporters, editors and agents SAY NO to covering a person, product or         service and what you need to do to get a YES!!

http://www.profcs.com/app/?Clk=3234052

This past weekend I went to my first story slam. I was laughing the entire night. What great fun.  But I also learned quite a good deal about effective story telling.

While I was listening to the stories, I kept thinking about what Ira Glass says are the three most important elements of story telling.  He says, that story telling should include a series of actions.  This happened, then this happened, and then we did this or and then I thought this. Next stories need to ask questions along the way and answer them.  And finally, good stories, the moment of reflection.  What is the key point?  What does this all mean?

Turns out that really GOOD stories have all three.  At the slam I noticed that the second and third elements were often missing. The story that “won” that evening did include the first two elements and hinted at self reflection, but there wasn’t an overt moment of reflection that gave the story meaning.

Here are some of the other things I noticed or was reinforced based on the stories I heard that night.

• The opening sentence can be attention gaining, or simply setting the scene.  “It was 2001 and I was traveling in India”.  Twenty-five years ago, I was a single mom, working by day as a banker and a topless dancer at night.”
• All stories need to include dialog.  Self-dialog that reveals genuine thoughts or emotions (that perhaps you wouldn’t normally share) will make the story stronger.  Sharing thoughts of when you got it wrong is also good.
• Descriptive detail is very important.  The more descriptive and specific the better.
• Using facial expressions are very important and need to be exaggerated.
• Changing the speed of delivery is important.
• Involving the audience is important.  If they react, acknowledge the reaction.
• Body movement should demonstrate as much as possible.

I’m going to the Grand Slam at the Painted Bride in Philadelphia on Saturday November 7th. If you are planning to go, please drop me a line so I can say hello in person.

Recently I read an article on BNET by Steve Tobak that talked about how to be a good manager.  Steve mentions the importance of being adept at five things: finance, selling, presenting, negotiating, and business communications.

I thought his grouping was odd.  Why did he separate business communications as a separate category? To me, business communications includes selling, presenting, and negotiating.  But it ALSO includes networking, conflict management, team building, and perhaps even interviewing.

Then just today, I read this list of critical business communication skills from Joey Asher.  His list is as follows:

1. Give a persuasive 10-minute presentation. (Presenting)
2. Deliver an elevator pitch for your business, division, project, etc. (Selling)
3. Make a cold call. (Selling)
4. Report out on a project with no preparation. (Presenting)
5. Deliver bad news. (Presenting / Selling)
6. Answer a question in a way that inspires confidence. (Presenting)
7. Build a relationship through listening. (Networking / Selling)
8. Tell a story. (Presenting/ Selling)
9. Rebut an objection. (Selling)

I added the categories to match Steve’s (and my) breakdown.  When I commented on Joey Asher’s blog I mentioned that I would have added a few more onto his list.  Joey’s list seemed more specific than Steve’s.

So I would have added:

10.  Interview people
11.  Negotiate a contract
12.  Motivate others
13.  Manage conflict

and I also suggested modifying his first point

1.  Deliver engaging, concise, and compelling presentations

But after thinking about it some more, I think I would suggest that the core communication skill required to be effective in business is the ability to inform, persuade, and motivate others in an authentic and engaging manner.  To me that includes all of the ideas that both Steve and Joey mention.

To me the bottom line is this…communication skills are the most critical skill to the success of any professional.

Did we miss any?  What do you think?

I like to personally invite you to attend the event on September 9, 2009 at the New York Academy of Science. The program is callled, “How To Build a Powerful Online Presence”…you can either register to attend or get the audio program if you can’t attend.

I hope to see you there!!

Last week and this week on The Public Speaker, I talked about handling difficult media questions.  The truth is that I myself wanted to get the perspective of other communication professionals because handling difficult questions can be controversial.  I decided to contact two publicists to get more information.

I spoke with Helen Coronato and I also spoke with Jess Todtfelt.  Unfortunately, I made a mistake with my recording system ended up only with one the recording from Helen Coronato.  It’s a shame because Jess was really a great interview.  I’m hoping to interview him again in the future. (I’ve contacted Google and I **may** be able to get my recording after all! I’m keeping my fingers crossed.)

Anyway, after I talked with both Helen and Jess, I realized that we were all on the same page. In fact, we all agreed how to handle difficult media questions.  Of course, we each had our unique way of expressing the ideas, but overall we delivering the same messages.

With Helen Coronato I asked about how to handle loaded questions, leading questions, jargonistic questions, chummy questions, speculative questions, and more.   If you are planning any sort of media interview, I highly recommend you listen to the entire interview on handling difficult media questions.  She gives practical guidance to help the beginning navigate the media with grace and credibility.

By the way, I’ll  be working with Helen again in September as part of the Power Lunch Telesummit

In this telephone seminar, you  will learn specific action steps for better branding yourself and your business to increase visibility, attract more clients and make more money. Tips and strategies shared will be straight forward and immediately implementable.

Who is involved? (I’m glad you asked! <smile>)

Suzanne Evans
www.helpingpreneur.com
Action Expert
Identifying who needs you most so you can stop wasting time and start making more money

Ilise Benun
www.marketing-mentor.com
Marketing Mentor
How and where to find prospects so your business grows in the right direction

Lara Galloway
www.mombizcoach.com
The Mom Biz Coach
Using Twitter as a tool for building your brand and meeting your ideal client

Lisa Marshall aka The Public Speaker
publicspeaker.quickanddirtytips.com
www.lisabmarshall.com
Communication Expert
Quick and dirty tips for image and in-person communication so you can make the most of networking opportunities

Helen Coronato
www.TheWeekendPublicist.com
The Weekend Publicist
Using press and media to gain valuable and profitable visibility for your business

This week on the Public Speaker I talk about tips for improving your conference calls.  You can listen to this fun, free, episode here or if you prefer you can read a quick summary below. After the summary I cover a few controversial points…to mute or not to mute, then to chat or not to chat.

You might be surprised by what I have to say…

First and foremost a conference call is a MEETING.  Think of it as a meeting that happens to use a phone and not phone call that happens to be a meeting.  I think that subtle distinction is actually an important one.  For meetings to be effective you need to follow all the rules of effective in-person meetings, plus put some extra effort in because the conference call presents some unique challenges.

So I think it’s best to review what you need to do for an effective meeting first, then you can read here what you need to do that’s extra.

• The facilitator must arrive early so the call can begin on-time
• Agenda needs to go out earlier than in-person
• Agenda needs to include call-in information
• Agenda needs rules for mute (eg. only mute if in public place or mute unless you are speaker)
• Agenda needs directions for what to do if someone puts the call  on hold
• Ground rules for entrances and exits need to be established
• Facilitators need to be someone what directive to ensure full participation
• Facilitator includes everyone for discussions by calling on participants
• Everyone needs to be as concise as possible due to distrations
• Important points should be repeated at least two times
• Photos can be used to help participants make a connection
• Don’t use the bathroom while on a call
• Don’t eat while on a call

Now to the controversial part… the part I didn’t include in the episode.

To mute or not to mute?

Many “experts” suggest muting your telephone during conference calls.  I think this just encourages people to have side conversations and to use their computer.  However, I do understand that by not universally using mute you risk unnecessary background noise. For internal meetings, my preference is to have a no mute rule. This means everyone needs to make their best effort to ensure they can participate in the call from a quiet area.  Of course, sometimes that isn’t going to be possible, so there’s got to be some flexibility in the rule.

For external or public meetings, of course, it would be impossible to control and you are then forced to mute all callers unless he or she “raises their hand” (of course, I mean electronically raise his or her hand).

To chat or not?

Many experts suggest not allowing the use of chat software during meetings.  Last week, I said that myself, but that advice was for IN-PERSON meetings.  In a conference call I think it’s great for engaging participants.  It’s a way to have people ask questions without interrupting the speaker, it a way to take votes, it’s a way to provided training, and it’s a great backchannel for enhanced communication.

For example, you can call for a vote and have everyone type in their response at the same time. This way you can get the response quickly and perhaps more honestly (instead of people waiting to see how another person will vote.)

You can ask participants to post their questions via chat. If you do this, it’s best to create another role of chat moderator.  This person then monitors the questions and interjects them into the meeting (or not).  This is a great way for the main  presenter to stay focused on the presentation and control which questions to respond to.

Another good use of chat is for a chat “break-out” — where smaller groups (2-4) can chat about ideas then bring the result back to group.

Chat can also be used for the parking lot and for on-going summary deliverable action items notes.

It can be used to supplement the meeting with additional information.  For someone that wasn’t sure what was said, a text clarification can be made.  Or perhaps addtion information or link to additional information can be provided.

For example, during our Spanish Club meetings which are global conference calls, the word moderator, looks up words that the speaker is struggling with and provides translations and definitions.  In addition, provides links to addition material for that content area.

At the end of the call, you can use chat to  ask for  “three word feedback” which asks participants to provide three words of honest feedback for the meeting.

Another great use of chat is for training.  I’ve successfully used chat to guide junior employees.  For example, We let a junior staff member lead the call with a customer.  Our team supported her via chat.  We supplied her with responses to questions and guided her away from landmines, while she was talking.  She appeared in complete control of the meeting and gained valuable practice in the “hot seat” with the customer.  It worked out well.  She learned how to manage the customer with support and guidance from the rest of the team.

Another benefit of using chat during external meetings, meeting with customer and vendors, is that it allows your internal team can comment on and discuss issues behind the scenes while the main speaker is engaged with the outside party. Of course, if you are going to do this be sure that everyone is using a quiet keyboard, otherwise, all the clicking will be perceived as not paying attention.

For me, chat fills the attention gap and helps to keeps participants focussed on the topics of the meeting.  It keeps them occupied and reduces the temptation (and the opportunity) for them to do other things during call. The idea is to incorporate the technology into the meeting to enhance it.

I’m looking for creative, low-cost, or no-cost ideas to get more people listening to my show.

If you’ve got a crazy idea or even just a regular idea submit it publicspeaker@quickanddirtytips.com with “crazy idea” in the subject.

All ideas will be considered until May 15, 2009.

I need your help !

As you may know I am the host of The Public Speaker: Quick and Dirty Tips for Improving Communication Skills.  I end every show by saying “I’m passionate about communication your success is my business.”

That’s not just a “marketing” tag line.  I sincerely believe that  improving  communication skills is the single most important investment a person can make in themselves.  Better communication and leadership skills lead to personal and professional success.  It’s my dream to help as many people as I can.  That’s why I chose to be host of the podcast and that’s why I chose my profession.

My dream is to reach business professionals, teachers, collage students, high school and middle school students, ministers, really everyone who is interested in improving his or her communication skills. I’m confident I can help, but I need your help to reach out to a broader audience.

If you’ve got a idea that might help me reach this goal, I’d love to hear it.  I’m looking for creative, low-cost or no-cost ideas to get more people listening to the show.

If you’ve got a crazy idea or even just a regular idea submit it publicspeaker@quickanddirtytips.com with “crazy idea” in the subject.

All ideas will be considered until May 15, 2009.  If I end up choosing and using YOUR idea this year (2009), in return, I’ll offer you a gift certificate for six hours of one-on-one private coaching (which is currently worth approximately $1,000).  You can use it or you can give it to someone.

How will the winning idea(s) be selected?  Good question!   I can only say that my decision will be biased and based on my personal preferences.  I’d like something that is fun, simple, and not pushy.  I’d like it to be no cost or very low cost.  The best idea would have the potential to double or triple the current number monthly listeners.  I’m hoping the best idea will be obvious when I see it.  I am really very anxious to reach out and hope that you can help me to achieve my dream.

Thanks in advance for reading this and I look forward to reading your idea.

Lisa

P.S. If you regularly listen to show, you know that I am already using Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.